Hoping to find inspiration and a valuable topic to write about today, I began Googling. To my shocking surprise, “I have everything I want but still not happy” came at the top of the list. The results were as high as nearly 300 million. I searched for variations such as “money but no happiness,” “money but no time,” “money but no fulfillment” and, in all cases, the results were staggering and compelling. Frankly, I’m not surprised. I’m in the hub of it all. I pass no judgment and the following comments are merely an observation. I live in one of the most affluent communities in America and I’m surrounded by some of highest net worth individuals in the world but many are unhappy, suffer from depression or have failed relationships. Some portray outer personas through social media pretending to have happy lives but inwardly they’re drowning.
How do we account for this? I believe that the cause of it is insatiability. Not the kind that drowns but the kind that waters your growth. You see, as humans, we’re continuously growing and ever-changing. To think that once we reach a target that we have set for ourselves will make us happy, is to set ourselves up for disappointment. We’re evolving along with the rest of the Universe. Our desires are elusive. They change as we grow. I don’t want things today that I wanted as a child. I’ve outgrown them or they have reached their useful life. The latest cars, fashions or trendiest clubs don’t appeal when you can have them at your beckon call. The fun is in the chasing, not in the getting. Just ask anyone who is still dating… The adrenalin pumps during the race, not when it’s over.
We’re products of our time and place. What may have seemed right yesterday, may not be right today. During their lifetimes, slave owners in the 1800’s could have never imagined abolition. They weren’t ready for a new way of thinking. Heard of a consciousness shift? Wondering why things seem so muddled up today? It’s because our global community is questioning the status quo. We’re challenging the system and the way we used to do things. A massive consciousness change is taking place through social media. We have the ability to report abuses and injustices instantly with a lot more reach than before. Don’t be deceived into thinking that a small number of unenlightened individuals are in charge just because they have little to contribute to society other than tweeting large amounts of unconscionable content. Have no doubt, they’re in the minority. A global shift taking place in favor of tolerance and peaceful co-existence. We all want the same things: love, security, safety, health and financial freedom. Questioning the system is healthy. It sets us on a path of self-discovery and evolution. Human beings are designed for perfection but, unless you’re an enlightened Master, it’s nearly impossible to achieve in one lifetime alone. The Universe is expanding and we’re evolving along with it. Set goals and work toward them. The growth happens along the journey not when you arrive.
CREATE REALISTIC STANDARDS
Working towards goals is life-giving. They give us reasons to propel forward. But they’re only stepping-stones. When you reach them, settling there won’t make you happy, which is why a lot of rich people feel unfulfilled. Truly happy people understand that goals and desires are ever changing. Goals challenge us. They suggest that we have not yet mastered something. Imperfection means we need to work at improving a skill. That thought is powerful and liberating. It says that I’m in control of how I use my time and energy. When we use energy, we can’t be stagnant. When we use energy, we create things like a better body, a better mind and a better existence.
USE ENERGY WISELY
Why is it that some people who have money are still unhappy? Have you ever known someone who always complains about their situation and does nothing about it even thought they have all the tools to solve their problems? For some people, change can be scary. An unhappy situation may seem better than an unknown one. Change will deter if the picture is too big. To change, you need to start with bite sized steps. The key is to take the first one. Let me give you an example.
IMPERFECTION IS HOW WE GROW
In 2014, I wrote Agapanthus Rising, a self-help guide into human potential that offers tools for living with passion, peace and purpose. I re-read the book when it came out in print and noticed its “imperfections.” What I realized later is that those were not mistakes, but that I had grown between the time I wrote and when the book was published. If I hadn’t taken the initiative to get my ideas on paper, I could have missed someone I could have helped. Regret is the cause of a lot of unhappiness.
We’re ever changing, we’re ever growing and we don’t have the knowledge today that we’ll have tomorrow. That’s so exciting. Imagine what you will know tomorrow, you can put to work for your benefit and those who count on you!
Happiness cannot be purchased nor satiated with toys. Happiness is being comfortable in our skins, imperfections and all, the ability to express ourselves without looking for validation and loving what we’re doing. Happiness comes when we stop comparing ourselves to others. It means:
- Feeling energized
- Seeing the world in a positive light
- Waking up feeling excited and grateful
- Going to sleep gratified and peaceful
- Inspired to try new things
- Welcoming challenges
- Using setbacks as learning opportunities
- Being pain free
- Having clarity and direction
- Attracting people who bring out the best in you
- Things you want flow to you easily
- Fulfilling work
- Spending time the way you wish
- Acting spontaneously
- Using uplifting and empowering vocabulary
- Understanding there is no time, space, death or separation from others
- Serving those in need
- Sharing your passion
- Learning from masters
If you have everything you wanted and you’re still unhappy, it’s time for a change. I’ve written several blogs and uploaded videos on YouTube that offer ways to have a truly rich life.
WHO DEFINES IF YOUR LIFE IS GOOD?
Who defines if your life is good or what your purpose is? Look for happiness within and don’t look for the approval of others. Happiness is a mindset that results from intention – from making deliberate choices and taking charge of your reactions to circumstances. Only I can define if what I’m doing is worthwhile. Ask yourself what that is for you. Being charitable, coaching, teaching and serving others makes me feel good. Have you ever wondered what it feels like to serve at a soup kitchen or give a child their first pair of shoes? Doing things like this gives meaning and purpose to my life. I have everything I wanted and I’m happy.
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